Spring!

Job applications

The working climate at my job has just gotten worse and worse. We've had some discussions and meetings with our boss regarding our group leader, who most of us on the team feel isn't really competent for her job and mostly just makes things worse. She is responsible for creating conflict between different team members, is really disorganized and doesn't take responsibility for the things she does and doesn't stand behind her statements either.  It's very energy-draining and IMHO is completely unnecessary.  Therefore I've decided to apply for some other jobs within the company. I sent off 2 applications today and I'll make the follow up calls on Monday! Exciting and nervous!

Mathematics!

Not sure if I wrote this before, but I'm studying the next level of high school math. Mostly because it gives me a lot more choices when applying for uni, but also just for the mental stimulation. I really dislike math. I was never good at it and most of the time I feel like it doesn't make any sense, however I'm determined to greet this course with a lot of positivity and self-boosting thoughts! Plus I have a wonderful man who is patient and can explain things to me, not to mention put up with my frustrated outbursts. Fingers crossed!!

The perfect man

I finished this one about a week ago. Pretty easy reading, not many words that didn't I already have in my vocabulary. But I'm still not sure how well a translation captures and represents the tone and style of the writer/book. Predictable chick-lit with a cliché happy ending.

A day like today

Off work today and have a to do-list that needs tending. Phone calls to make, job applications to write, gym, study Math and possibly squeeze in some time to relax? I've also gone through the university catalog and highlighted all the programs I think are interesting- now all I have to do is decide which one I want to do most! Had to call CSN and figure out why they still need more papers and proof of income from me for 2010.....urgh. I also got mail from Försäkringskassan saying they're going to retroactively bill me for 2010- not fun!! I've re-booked a dentist appointment for Ais and replied emails and texts. I also ran into my friend J at the gym (which was more tiring than normal today!) and went for a quick coffee afterwards.

Starting tomorrow I'm working 6 days in a row, so I was really hoping to have an effective day and it feels like it has been. Now I've just got to figure out what to make for dinner.
Today's energy kick:

Dry lips

It's always worse during winter, but this year I have had such horribly dry, chapped lips. I'm very good with chapstick, I keep them everywhere and bring them everywhere I go, but they don't seem to help. I've tried a few different brands, but I don't the feeling of really heavy, sticky chapstick either. The pharmacist didn't really have any recommendations either.. what to do? Time to try more expensive brands maybe?

Came home yesterday evening after work to find these on my bedside table.
I guess I am still a sucker for romantic gestures and simple small things that can mean so much.

What's playing now:

 Parachute - Forever & Always

Dreaming

I had so many dreams last night, some of them really clear and I remember them afterwards in detail and some less so. I like to believe that there is some kind of significance to dreams, that it's either your subconscious giving you ideas and solutions or letting you experience other possible scenarios or realities. For me it's the feeling and memory of the experienced emotion that is the strongest. If it was a  happy dream, a romantic dream, or if a dream where you're being pushed off a cliff, what stays with me after waking is the memory of how I was feeling in that second, that moment. Imagine a world of controlled dreaming, where you know you're in a dream, but you're aware and where the laws of psychics don't apply and anything is possible.

An A !

Today I finally got back the results from the last essay I wrote.  I had actually put a lot of time and effort into the preceding papers and this one I was quite happy with, but I had no idea what kind of grade to expect. My best grade thus far has been a "B" and then then I had one "F", so I really had no idea what was coming. But I did! I managed to actually produce an essay worthy of an "A".

The thing that is so great for me though, is the fact that it's in Swedish. I am so proud of me for mastering the language to such a degree that I'm able to express myself properly at university levels. That's not to say that I don't have a lot of learning left to do when it comes to Swedish, but this means a lot to me and says a lot about the journey I've taken and how far I've managed to come.

Bet-yg	formalia	Innehåll	Argumentation
A	Mycket bra formalia-hantering, enstaka fel	Mycket bra beskrivning av samtliga tema och perspektiv	Mycket bra analytisk koppling mellan tema och perspektiv
B		Bra beskrivning av tema och perspektiv	Tillräcklig analytisk koppling mellan tema och perspektiv
C	Svag till tillräcklig formaliahantering	Tillräcklig beskrivning av tema och perspektiv, kan vara svag på något tema och perspektiv
D			Svag analytisk koppling mellan tema och perspektiv
E		Svag beskrivning av tema och perspektiv
F		Saknar innebörd i beskrivning av tema och perspektiv	Saknar analytisk koppling mellan tema och perspektiv

Student: Natalie Mahama

Betyg: A
(Teachers comments:  Ett A är svårt att få, och jag tvekar en smula. De brister jag ser är (minimalt men ändå) lite språkligt slarv, någon bortglömd punkt. Annars är det riktigt bra på alla punkter!)

Fredagsmys

Red wine and cheese

Kindness

Since it's winter and there's been lots of snow which also inevitably means delays with public transport, people standing outside freezing and just the all round disappointment of having to wait while the crowds at the bus stops grow bigger and bigger. I often find myself getting frustrated with people, I all too often am really annoyed and bothered by others' behavior and so I was wondering if the problem was me - that I just don't have enough tolerance.
But then I've observed something new lately, I'm not generally unkind to people, especially not people who need help. And I realized that what it is I'm actually frustrated about is when people in general act disrespectfully and with no sense of common courtesy or thought for anyone but themselves. Like people who stand in the middle of the entrance to a rotating doorway. Or spry younglings who push past the line, in front of the older people, to get to the front of the bus. Or people who don't move their bags from the seat beside them even though there are people standing in the bus. Or people (both young and old!!!) who insist on walking, very very slowly, exactly in the middle of the sidewalk, making it next to impossible for you to walk around them and overtake them. Or people who put their feet up on the seats in the bus or the subway. The blatant disregard for all the people around them makes me really fed up. I'm more than happy to let someone cut in line ahead of me, IF they're nice about it and grateful. People with buggies are no exception either, they'll sometimes shove through the crowds, run over people's feet with not so much as an apology.
I have to admit I've been one of those- I have rammed someone with my buggy, but not without cause. I guess what I want to say is that I wish people would just be kind to one another and realize that you don't really win anything by shoving and being selfish. But worst of all I think, is the effect it has on your soul, I have a feeling that it eats away at your ability to be compassionate and kind to your fellowman, without having to have a reason and expecting nothing in return. It must make you much less aware of your surroundings and sensitive to someone who might need your help. It reduces the chances of you becoming a civilian hero and showing courage when needed. And to think that it could all be avoided by something so small as being kind to the stranger standing next to you.

Today was my day off so I decided to take advantage of all the me-time and also get some stuff done. I went back to bed after Ais went to school and made a big mug of green tea with honey and watched "Friends with benefits".  I've given up trying to make M watch girlie movies with me, but I enjoy the entertainment of a romantic comedy sometimes. The movie was of course very predictable and very cliche, but that's kind of what you expect from a movie like that.
The cold is really getting to me, the apartment feels cold and that makes me not want to shower, but just stay clothed all the time. On top of it I hate wearing socks and I insist on being barefoot at home which certainly doesn't help me feel any warmer.

I haven't been able to get a hold of the person by telephone, who needs to register me for my math course, so I finally sent an email today. Did all the dishes from the weekend too! Made myself go out in the cold to go the gym (Yay me!!) and it felt really good. Now I'm off to help a friend with picking up her kid from school and then Ais is having a classmate sleep over tonight, so I should figure out what to make for dinner. Any ideas?

Work

Sitting at work, waiting to go home in after a 13-hour day and thinking how lucky I am to have my little family waiting for me - instead of focusing on how cold it is outside and how I have to be back here at 08.00 tomorrow. Just gonna keep thinking about the good things.

Lunch and Library

Had the day off today and needed to look for a swimsuit for Ais,considering it's winter, and totally off-season, I was really happy to find a swimsuit that she would like at Stadium. Since I was going to be in town, I booked a breakfast/lunch with one of my bestest friends, J. I was really hungry by the time she suggested a café, I suggested another one, and she let me have my way (such a dear!)
I think we have such wonderful, complex, varied, unpredictable conversations, and I appreciate not having to translate what I'm going to say beforehand, or "dumb it down". That might sound kind of conceited, but despite the fact that we have so very different personalities and live completely different lives, I feel like I get something out of the emotional and intellectual exchange, which I cannot say applies to a lot of other exchanges I experience. I feel somehow smarter than normal (keeping up with a soon-to-be holder of 2 Bachelors degrees and a Masters!) and like she sees me for who/what I could potentially be. She sees another side to me, one that I don't get to indulge often, but that is definitely a part of me.I don't have many really good friends, or get close to people easily and it's nice to have someone who wants to be friends as much as I do, and appreciates the same level of friendship that I do. Love you wifey!
Since I've been meaning to read books in Swedish, to keep it fresh and to improve my vocabulary, it's been frustrating not finding anything really gripping. I mentioned that to J, so we went to a bookshop and she suggested some books, so I have some options to think about. On my way home I went by the local library and found these (I had seen "Igelkottens elegans" earlier in the bookstore and thought it looked interesting, so was happy to find it at the library.)


 So I'll start with these and see how it goes!

Gym time!

I can't help but be proud of myself each time I manage to muster up the self discipline required to go off to the gym. I don't like the crowds of people, especially in the afternoon/evenings, which is why I generally try to go earlier in the day, but sometimes, like today I don't really that many options. Exercising and working out has always been a bit of a love/hate thing for me. I love the way I feel - stronger, more flexible, less tired, stiff and achy, but I hate having to put in the time and not seeing results as quickly as I'd like. I also hate not always having motivation and fully understanding the importance of exercise and the consequences of not making time for it. Suffice it to say that despite the many people, and despite the fact that I got up today at 05.35, I made it to the gym today and for that I'm gonna give myself credit. Cheers to me!